Solitary, miserable and misunderstood.

Adam's naive mind hadn't thought as far as Sherlock's sophisticated one. Of course the detective was right, on the long terms it would only make John unhappy again. Temporary happiness was something Adam had knew before, but it always left him more empty afterwards.

However, Adam didn't say it out loud. Right now he felt to pride to admit anything to Sherlock. Whenever the man looked at him, it felt as if he looked right through Adam. Discomfort crept into his shoes with every new sentence of this conversation.

" I didn't acted to hurt. I acted to be free. I fought for my rights and those who died weren't innocent people. John is." He explained, but no matter how he would explain things, what he had done was nothing to be proud of. "I didn't knew better. Now I do." He added.

The concern in Sherlock's voice when mentioning John again was audible and deep down, Adam knew he just wanted the man to be okay. To be happy again. "I don't know how John used to be. But I know how he was when we met. And I know how he is now." Adam nodded a bit. Now he thought about it, John had changed a bit when Adam had came around. "I can make him happy, Sherlock." He pleaded. "I wouldn't turn my back on him, even not when I look normal again. John means more to me than you could ever imagine."

Adam took Sherlock's last bit as good advice. He would pay attention to John's silent moments. Even though he didn't knew what depression meant exactly, he would try and get John on whenever he got this way. "I will take care of him. Not because you asked me to, but because I want to. I want him to be happy. To be like he used to be." He nodded, his eyes trailing towards the front door.

"I am sure you had your reasons," he muttered, nodding, giving him at least that much. "But you are still responsible, and you will be responsible if they come to look for you here," he muttered, eyes settling on him for a long moment. "I will take my own steps to try and prevent that from happening..."

His eyes moved on Adam again, they were blue, deep, sad, "I think I know," he whispered, and he chuckled bitterly. "John is a great man, he deserves all the love you can give him..." he exclaimed and offered his hand for Adam to shake.

"Maybe you won't see me again, I won't impose myself on John if he won't look for me, I know I don't deserve his friendship," he admitted, and it cost him a lot to say those words. "I will consider what you said a promise, Adam. I need to know John will never be alone again. I'll be okay if I know that much."

Did Sherlock just really said he would make sure they won't come from him? "Baskerville. John mentioned you both visited. That's where they created me." He pointed out. He wasn't sure whether Sherlock knew or not, but if he wanted to prevent people would come over here, Adam figured he had to make sure. "Thanks." He muttered very quietly.

Adam's hand reached out and slipped into Sherlock, shaking it firmly. "I will talk to John about the marriage. I'll see what he wants and perhaps I can convince him. I won't force him. But you have my word. I won't hurt him, neither will I leave him alone." This Adam promised and he let go of Sherlock's hand.

Sherlock shook his hand carefully, allowing himself a smile. "You did good to John till now, I trust you to do even better from now on," he whispered, and pulled back, shaking his head. "John will do what is right, I just want him to be able to do what is right for him and not sacrifice himself like his usual..."

He opened the door and started walking outside. "Baskerville... of course..." he mumbled thoughtfull. "You are very lucky, Adam, you probably sheltered in the life of the only person who could help you..."

"Good bye, Adam."

Of course Adam didn't understood the last part of Sherlock's words. He didn't knew Sherlock's contacts so he just nodded and mumbled thanks once more.

"Goodbye, Sherlock." He nodded and closed the door behind the man.

Adam rushed back up the stairs, going into the living room straight away to find John. He was worried, thinking about Sherlock's words. He shouldn't act different, so he tried his best to wipe away any bit of concern.

"John?" He whispered softly, approaching him.

John had noticed Adam was late to come back upstairs, and somehow he knew it was no good news. Sherlock was unable to mind his own business, he knew there was no way he would keep silent about his situation, somehow he felt his bliss was about to end. Who would want to share a hour with a suicidal maniac?

"He told you, didn't he?" he exclaimed as Adam walked closer, "Sherlock has no concept of privacy," he mumbled, staring out of the window, his attitude clearly darker than before, he was brooding and thoughtful, too many things to think about, too much pain to deal with.

Adam's eyes kept focused on John's back. Were these the moods Sherlock had just warned him about? Adam kept walking closer, not going to back off just because John had a bad past. Who was he to judge someone on his past anyway?

"Yes. He told me." Adam confessed, he wasn't going to lie. This seemed to much of a thing to lie about and John knew so anyway, whether he would lie or not. "It doesn't change anything, John." he stretched his arms out and wrapped them around John's waist. Just the same as John had did to him earlier in the kitchen. His face nuzzled in between his shoulders and he rested it right there, taking in John's scent.

His heart felt heavy, it was filled with a darkness he could not control, even though he wished he could. The feeling of Adam's arms wrapping around him shook him to the bone, his eyes opened wider and there was warmth seeping in his muscles.

It distracted him, it took his breath away and there was just his beating heart thumping in his head.
"You are... already acting differently though..." he whispered, his hand moving to cup Adam's, he couldn't believe how comforting the hug felt on his limbs.

"Adam..." he whispered, moving his head back, his whole body resting against him. It just felt so good.

"I am not acting different, John." Adam whispered, his lips hoovering over the surface of John's back, enjoying the warmth radiating from there. "You did this to me earlier and it calmed me down. I've never seen you down like this. I would have done this, even if Sherlock didn't told me about your past."

When John cupped his hands, goosebumps ran over Adam's whole body, filling him with the familiar warmth by now. He enjoyed being so close to John, he had done so before and he will only enjoy it more in the future, he knew.

Adam moved his head up when John leaned backwards, letting his chin rest somewhere between his shoulder and neck, nuzzling right there.

"Yes, John?" Adam whispered close to John's ear when he heard his name ever so softly.

The soft whisper against his ear made John shiver, a long arousing chill wrapping around his spine and leaving him breathless for an embarrassing moment. He couldn't help but smile at the other's words, and at his own infatuated body, who knew he could still feel that way?
"I am thinking about a lot of things, a few decisions I have to make..." he admitted, biting on his lower lip.

"Can't really think of anything when you are this close though..." he admitted, his hand running up and down the other's arms. "All I can think about is you... how good you feel against me... how good you smell... how warm you are..."

Chills ran down Adam's spine when John's hands ran up and down his arms. It felt so nice, so comforting and just utterly great. His cheeks blushed as he listened to John, warmth filling every spot of his body now.

"Shall I move away a little? Give you space so you can think?" He whispered, his lips brushing against John's ear. He didn't want to move away though, but he didn't want to force himself onto John either.

"God, no," he moaned in reply, it was almost pleading, but he wasn't ashamed, he couldn't be when Adam was brushing his lips against his ear and making chills run up his spine and take his breath away.

"I prefer you to the dark thoughts... they can wait..." he muttered, not even realizing he was shifting back, pressing his whole body back against Adam. He had no idea how it had gotten this hot, how he was suddenly wrapped into Adam and he just wanted to be closer, he wanted to lose himself into him.

"Hmmm that's good." Adam groaned into John's ear, experimentally letting his tongue run down the shell of John's ear. "Because I don't want to move away either." He did the same thing with his tongue.

Adam could feel John's body press against him. He could feel his own body respond to the heat and he could basically feel himself grow hard against John's back. He swallowed thickly, cheeks running red.

The urge to touch John was high by now, so Adam moved his large hands down over the man's lower abdomen and decided not to stop before he could feel the bulge of his pants. "Can... May I?" Adam asked, his hand gently rubbing over the area.

John whimpered and shook as he felt the other's tongue on his ear, his senses were overreacting, he was painfully aware of everything that was going on, and every time Adam moved, he felt like he could lose his breathing. It was so good, but it still left him wanting... wanting so much.

The way those hands moved down his abdomen, the feeling of the other's arousal pushing against his back, John's head was soon spinning.
Could this really be happening?
He gasped when he felt the other's fingers brushing along the bulge in his trousers, his eyes widening considerably.
"That's... going... very fast..." he breathed out, even though he just wanted to scream yes, yes, please.

Adam removed his hands, letting them slowly rub up to john's shoulder and grabbing him there. In a smooth movement he manouvred John around and pulled him very close. His lips searched for john's and captured his in a sweet but lustful kiss.

"okay, than I will slow down." he muttered in between his kissing. His hands still on John's shoulder kept still for only a little longer. At the same time he let his tongue taste every bit of john, his hands ran down his sides and back up. Roaming over him like he had never felt anything like this before. His own body aching with need and lust. Adam longed for John more than anything.

The words sounded more like a menace than anything else, especially when Adam had spun him around and kissed him with a passion he could hardly conceive, John couldn't help but feel that he wanted things to happen, and fast, before he could realize he was not supposed to do this at all.

His hands moved up, cupping the other's head, tracing his scars instinctively, feeling them as if they were his, and to be honest, he loved how the skin felt under his fingertips, he loved how close they were.
"God, Adam," he whimpered, pressing himself against him, needy. "You're blowing my mind..."

With john's fingers tracing his scars, Adam shivered. No one had ever touched his scars unless it was to make them better like the doctor. But john touched them in a way Adam had never known before. He touched them so lovely and respectful, as if it were normal to have them. It only make Adam add more passion to the kiss they shared. As he had seen once, Adam lowered his kissing from johns lips to his neck.

Adam pressed his own body back against John's, letting them grind together. He barely found the time to breath properly in between their actions, leaving him panting against his friend's skin. "you.. Taste... So.. Good.." he mumbled in between Nipping at skin. His own body was in an utter state of arousal, more than he had ever been before. He just wanted John in every possible way.

John could not understand what was happening to him, he had no idea how he had managed to find himself in such a situation, just after Sherlock's visit, he was attached to the lips of someone else, someone he had a raging crush for.

He pulled away then, hands moving to Adam's shoulders and gripping them tightly.
"No, wait... I... I can't... I am still not..." he mumbled, shaking his head, his eyes moving restlessly on Adam's face.

"I like you, Adam... so much... but... it is not fair on you... I am still... still getting over Sherlock..." he admitted, aroused and panting, his lips red and bruised. "I don't want our relationship to change before we are both ready... and... well... if you keep touching me like that I won't be able to stop myself... I... well, I guess it's not a secret any more that I do want you..."

Adam was left panting and searching for air when John pulled back. His eyes looking straight into the other one's with confusion clearly visible. For a moment Adam wondered whether he had done something wrong. Did he make a wrong move? Kiss John on the wrong spot? Insecurity and doubt filled his chest.

His eyes fell down in embarrassment when he listened to John's words. His cheeks flushed a darker shade of red and for the moment Adam was completely speechless. He felt rejected. It seemed like Sherlock's words had settled inside of John's mind.

"I.. Eh.. I am sorry... I guess." Adam muttered, taking a small step back. "But I don't understand, you want me but you don't at the same time?" He looked back up. Adam didn't understand a bit of the complications love could bring with it.

John felt incredibly guilty as he looked up at Adam, his eyes were filled with insecurities and he realized he was already hurting him.
"Adam... I want you... there is no part of me that doesn't want you..." he whispered, closing his eyes for a second, trying to put order in what he felt and what he wanted to say.

"But I've just gotten over a very difficult period of my life, and you've seen it... Sherlock is still able to affect me greatly..." he explained, his hand caressing the other's cheek. "Don't apologize... you haven't done anything wrong... I just... I just don't know what to do..."

"Jumping into bed now... sex now is... way too fast though..." he leaned up to place a chaste kiss on Adam's lips. "We need to take it slowly... in the right order... and... mm... how about... how about going on a date together?" he suggested, suddenly shy, he wasn't sure it was what Adam wanted, nor whether he'd still accept him even though what he said.

With his tongue thick inside his mouth Adam swallowed loud. He tried to force a little smile, but it didn't seem to be working. John's fingers on him weren't really helping to feel less confused. How could someone be this way? Wanting someone else so badly yet still refusing too? Perhaps Adam just contained more animalistic instincts than John.

"I.. Okay.. I see." He whimpered as John's lips quickly kissed his still swollen and red lips. " I just thought.. You know.. It would help you get over him.." He shrugged a little, once again trying to force a smile.

The idea of a date left Adam a bit unsatisfied, but he didn't want to turn John down right now. Not when Sherlock had told him all these things. He wanted John to be happy, to be the person he was before and he'd give anything to make that happen.

"A date sounds fine." He semi whispered, trying to remember the meaning of the word, John had told him something about it before. But that also meant he had to go outside, so his excitement soon started growing and became more visible.

"I don't know about that, maybe it would, but what would it do to you?" he asked, even though he didn't really want an answer, he just couldn't afford to hurt Adam, and he was going to behave properly for him, even though his body was no doubt in need.

"Don't take it as rejection, Adam..." he whispered, cupping his cheek and making him look at him. "I do like you... and it means something... something good... it's a beginning..." he added, leaning up to kiss his lips chastely.

"Tomorrow night. We'll go out for dinner together. Does that sound okay?" he asked with an hopeful grin.

"It would do.. Nothing." Adam sighed. To be honest, he had no idea what it would do to him. It was diving into the dark, head first. But he had been willing to take the risk. He'd do anything now to make John happy, regarding his own wills.

"I'm not feeling rejected." Adam looked up, happy with John touching and cupping his face. "You are right. We shouldn't rush things. If something needs to happen, it will happen anyway." He had licked his lips before the kiss had landed on them.

"Sure, that sounds great." He grinned back at John. To Adam the term going on a date had such an useless meaning. At least to there situation. Did John needed more romance? He surely didn't need to get to know Adam any better. But the thoughts of John wanting to go out with him, actually out in public, eating, made him feel special. It meant a lot after all this time hiding inside of his flat. "I'm looking forward to it." He whispered, leaning into the touches he received and now placing a sweet kiss onto John's cheek.

Their fourth date felt a bit like a milestone. It happened a couple of weeks after their first, and they were supposed to have dinner and walk through Hyde park at dusk.
John didn't expect everything to go as planned, because with the two of them, it never really did, but he was hoping they would be able to talk a bit more about what was going on between them.

After that first day, the kisses had been almost non-existent, they were tiptoeing around each other and holding hands seemed to be the closest they'd allow themselves to be.
It felt so strange compared to the passion of their first kiss, but John didn't want to push it, afraid Adam was not so sure about physical contact any more.
Adam was starting to go out now, he was meeting people, and John had no idea whether he still wanted him at all.

On his part, he felt like a storm was going through his life, he would blush every time Adam looked at him, his heart would flutter if their fingers casually brushed against each other and he was hardly able to think about anything that didn't involve Adam, one way or the other.

"Should we have a walk?" he asked, showing Adam the entrance to the park, the sun was going down and the light was orange, it felt special, and all he hoped for was that Adam felt the same, that he wasn't regretting starting this in the first place.